moving in with mom after dad died

His name is on the plaque beside my Moms in the church cemetery so I assume he will be buried beside her and I certainly hope so. Because, even though my Father-in-law needed someone in his life, someone that made something spark again, and even though shes there to take care of him and take him on the trips hed planned on doing with his wife, my husband and his siblings lost their mother. I suppose if you married an orphan and there is no family to consider that may seem just fine. The hardest part of losing my mom has been my dad moving another woman into our family home where we grew up. So, your parent is moving on and has found a new love. She was sick for 17 months. The girl is only 25 years old. My mom looked forward to and cherished those few hours with her family even though all of us could not attend. He constantly talks bad about my mom and then crys over my mom. Where is her income? Yes. Until I realized that I still had my dad and I dont want to lose my dad if I still have a chance to have my father in my life. I understand that my father needs companionship, but I do not feel that it would be too insensitive to ask him to please wait just a bit longer, even a few weeks longer- so that we can at least get used to the idea. Heres what Im not thrilled about: Forcing a new person on a family who are still going through that process with scant regard for their emotional state is not a thing that should be embarked on lightly. Im sad, scared, confused and irritated with myself for petty immature thoughts. I am just not comfortable with that nor will I ever be. Even my Mom told my sister and I she was on her way out of the world, but my Dad had a lot of denial and would not learn or read up on everything so he was in denial until the Doctor talked with my sister and I and we had a meeting , so then after that he got it that she was not coming home. We are who we are and we feel the way we feel. She had to go to AT&T and get my dad taken off of our cell phone plan, and they kept transferring her to other people and she kept having to explain what had happenedI was really upset that they put her through that; it seemed so insensitive. I do not know what I would do without my loving husbands support. He may have moved on and is ready to make sure he has a life partner in his life and home. I began to date the Widower almost 1 1/2 years following her passing. There are still times I am so angry at him for choosing his girlfriend, over his family. I am guessing the woman is younger. You dont say how old you are Sonia. For me, its not about replacing his wife or her presence in the family. Unfortunately, dads answer to all this was telling me not to come by because girlfriend will be there and I know you two dont get along. We explained to him that we were all grieving my mother and doing our best to cope with the first big holiday without her. She is very upset by this. I will provide the 50+ year-old male perspective. What I got was a Thanks. Like so many others, Im very glad to have found this website. Now shes struggling financially & its my fault. So his death was extremely sudden and we were just left in shock. Finally, we had a 3 hour discussion where I was able to say how I felt about everything for the past 8 years. The love that you have for your spouse and your children will never change. PERFECT example of entitlement in this societyME ME ME, and Im not talkin about me. Ive accepted that its okay to miss my dad deeply, and to be sorrowful that I didn't have a better relationship with him earlier in life. However, at one point he asked whether the potential new visiter was married. From the beginning, Ellen and her mother who was still alive at the time were very pushy with me in terms of trying to establish a relationship that I just simply was not ready for as it was too soon and I had not had time to grieve my Mom. My point is that these experiences kept me going, and the memories you create will remain in your heart forever. NTA Go and live your best life. X. It. Well, earlier tonight, he called me and told me that this woman is flying from London to Chicago and is coming to stay with himtomorrow through Thanksgiving or sometime. I felt at one point I could not cope. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. My mom and dad were married for 30 years. There is a saying in England There is no fool like an old fool. I constantly encourage him to keep the relationship with them when he feels frustrated and misunderstood and wants to give up. Ive studied alcoholism a lot, and for those of you stricken by our societies version of it, please understand it really is a disease and NOT a choice. We have to get together on Christmas Eve because her family gets together for Christmas Day. So he breaks up with her. She fought so bravely, and had pockets of success, only to be followed by a very quick decline (3 weeks from notice of having months to live). NTA. She did, however, let me run other errands for her and drive her to the occasional appointment. At this point they were already in a serious relationship, and I have no idea when he first entered the dating sceneall I know is that it must have been fairly soon after my mothers death. Alexandra wrote this article about her experience with grief when her father passed away after a 7-year battle with multiple myeloma. Hell take a day off from her here and there because of our special request. I am SO very sad, but I feel there is nothing I can do. Sure, it might be well-intentioned, but it can feel empty. Fathers should be there for their daughters and their grandchildren versus pouring your energy into a complete stranger. Your email address will not be published. Im fine with my daddy being happy, but IM HIS DAUGHTER, his wifes child, his first child. PRIOR TO MY MUM HAD DIED MY BROTHER MOVED IN AND MARRIED A PHILLPINE Im sad that my Mom worked so hard all her life and many times was forced to be frugal and now woman will be reapiing the rewards of Moms hard work. For me this is not a game but it seems to be for him. This has been very therapeutic for me. He realised what kind of person she was quite quickly hence the Whatever you do dont tell her.We were powerless, as we are now. In November I found out he met another woman online and was planning to move in with her once I graduated college. Be grateful and humble for everyone and everything you have because nobody knows what the future holds. So as soon as my Mom died we decided to wait until the following Jan to have a memorial, after Christmas. It is so unspeakably insensitive to tell people that the pain and grief they are dealing with could be worse. My mom was my confidant, my best girl friend, etc. That seems ridiculously expensive. I was extremely happy, but the same probably couldnt be said for him. My mom has been dead for five years. He so does not need this drama, but I dont know what to do at this point. This is going to take a long time. A few times between lockdowns, I would visit with her and just sit on the couch beside her watching along with her. His response about this has been so offensive that is has resulted in some family members wanting to not have any further contact with him. The joke Be nice to your kids they get to pick your care home sounds a little sick. Her house sold and then all of a sudden she is living in my parents house. Im glad he let me do this instead of just getting rid of it all himself. 3 phones and an iPad being paid off in installments and the highest data package available. And if he has no relationship with you, he has no relationship with them. I recently sent a letter to an online relationship advice column and they responded to my letter. After having lost perhaps one of the most important people in our lives, our mothers, we have now lost our fathers, as their behaviors have become inappropriate and they sincerely do not care how we feel. We suffered with them too as well as all the family members. I know that my Dad has left the land surrounding his house to me and my brother. It absolutely makes me feel like Im not wanted. What Im also seeing, and what I feel about my own situation, is that, the bottom line is there is a lack of respect, sensitivity and compassion for those whove also lost that person by either both, or the dad or the new woman. Did you ever think you would be grieving like you are? Well, a few days ago, my dad tells me that he is going to Florida next week with a woman friend of his (he never would have taken my mom to Florida). I believe that we have to be aware of the family feelings of loss, where are they in their journey, understanding and caring about it is important and may help your relationship with your children. Isnt it obvious that the reason my sister has the worst relationship of all with my dads wife is because she lost her relationship with my dad because of his relationship with his wife?? We each have our own stories deep inside our hearts. She herself, had to stand by and watch her own father (my grandfather) remarry only six months after my grandmother passed away. It may not have been a perfect life or relationship, but it was better than this. A year hadnt passed since my mothers death, and already my brother and I had to welcome this woman, her 8-year old daughter, and 4-year old son, into our home every weekend. Do you know though, that this woman accused me of giving in to my husband though and going to his familys for holiday dinners years ago? My friend arrived to hear her say Well cant she just call a garage instead of bothering us. Never mind that she had been doing my father the favour by giving me the lift in the first place. After all this time he is good and angry about the way I am treated in order for my father to maintain good relations with this unworthy woman. Dad had a couple girlfriends.that we liked. Sometimes it is very hard to be upbeat when you feel such dispair but give it your best shot. Two days later she arrived with baked goods for my dad. We are all somewhat scarred from all weve been through. Military Losses Often Complicated by War Coverage. Speaking of clothes, she has over 28 bathing suits that she has made. I understand and accept that. I lost my mother in July 2008 after a very long illness. My Dad and I have never been close but Mom wanted us to mend the rift and after her death I stayed with Dad and helped with as much as I could before going back to my family. My dad knows Im not for him being with anyone else in more than a platonic way. I realized that you dont move past ityou go through it, and you continue to go through it, like youre paddling in a canoe through a muddied river. So much so that even when you spent time alone with him, he wasnt really there in spirit. I fear this woman has it all figured out. She whispers to him or says a few words or sentences, but thats it. Now he has found a lady friend, a very nice woman his age and of the catholic faith like him. I dont like hanging with her because all she talks about is my weight, my skin, and repeated stories about things I dont feel comfortable about (example: your father doesnt want me to wear clothes to bed. This has been going on for almost 2 yrs. However, his wife continues to feel I havent accepted her into the family and that I am disrespectful towards her. time. My dad feels that since he lost his wife, it is all about his loss; he does not realize this his kids are hurting and while I know he is lonely, his behavior is unacceptable. My mother passed away in May 2012 after a five-year battle with brain cancer. True I have never lost a husband so I cant judge. I love my dad and he is a great dad but hes not handling this well and hes a crappy husband.

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