my brother just killed himself
I just hope they have found the peace they deserve. My 23 year old elder sister whom I loved the most in my life killed herself by suicide one month ago She was kind, loving, helpful, used to think about others happiness before her and was the best person in my life Life is just so hard after her for me and my whole familyI m just 19 but feel like ending my life too because that incident changed my life 360 degree I m depressed, guilty and all alone I feel I will never be happy in my life again and life has no meaning for me still for my family I wont do anything like this because they wont be able to take another shock The thing which hurts me the most is that to some extent I knew she was not ok due to her breakup and small family fights I tried to make her understand but it was not enough I should have understood her in better way She told no one in family but me and my cousin She used to say to me that I dont know if after your birthday I would be there or not but I didnt take it seriously and thought she is joking to tease me because she was so mature and so caring I thought she is elder than me and knows better this is not right and she killed her in the same month.. Michelle Masterson May 28, 2021 at 6:08 am Reply. This was my last real fun father-daughter moment (Beside putting a bird in vodka for my final exams since I study biology but thats another story), that I will truly cherish forever. I honestly didnt know what was the kinder thing to do help her to want to live, or be complicit in what I suspected her actions would be. Xx. Your comment made me cry. After a few years, I am still sad about the loss, but I have become a part of the world again. I truly wish you all will be able to find some comfort somewhere in this time of grief. Sadly one night I slept through the night and my son completed suicide, nothing could have prepared me for the pain, grief or sorrow that I still go through, the total lack of empathy. If you need more info or my personal experience with grief I can help you .Sent your email or phone. Suicide of a parent leaves a lifelong impression. My own life gets shorter each day, and I recognize this. My Brother Killed Himself. I was 21 at the time and I was the one who found him. He really was my best friend. I am so so sad that hes gone. So many strange thoughts. He was 42. I forgive his sins and omissions, and I forgive mine. Or even help someone else change their mind about taking their own lives. Not having the appropriate intervention or tools to overcome the negativity from bullying is what drove them to taking their own lives. Custody of his daughter was returned to his ex-wife, and he would come home for a few days, rapidly decline in terms of paranoia ( would not eat anything I cooked, was insistent that we were going broke) and he refused to bathe. A place to put self-posts for discussion, questions, or anything else you like. He was on a ventilator. I shouted his name and when he turned around i knew something was seriously wrong. I was such an idiot, I even told him spooky stories like from true story where mentally Ill people end up killing the people they love. Not a day goes bye i dont think about him every second and am depress. I am an old sick woman who deserves death.She was a young beautiful girl who had not lived her life.Sorry I just had to say it all. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. Thank you. I have 2 kids. This to me is how she would want me to act, and I would want her to act this way if it were me who committed suicide. It sounds like you do have people in your life,I hope you decide to live for them. The way peop,e looked at me. I did all I could to help out my friend. This is why I chose to say he killed himself by suicide. My heart keeps breaking for those teenage and preteen girls. Seek them out and help yourself live a better life. Although it crossed my mind that he might do it one day (he tried before), I never seriously thought that this day would come. Carolyn April 11, 2019 at 2:44 pm Reply. She said I should have called 911 quicker but it all happened so fast so very fast. My boyfriend was a jolly kind and compassionate person. Hopefully your dad will overcome this. after that an officer pulled me to the side and asked a bunch of questions. He was the love of my life. It feels like some emotional prison, i just cannot understand that i do not want to accept it. When depression turns to despair suicide seems like logical choice. Karen February 17, 2017 at 11:44 am Reply. Mary kramer February 19, 2018 at 8:11 pm Reply. 1. I generally feel like Im in a black hole that I will never get out of. Im so sorry for your many losses. I hear that you feel guilty about your friends death, which is normal and okay. I was entirely stunned, and I have been crying and preoccupied every day, and waking at night thinking about him. JANE, I feel your pain. We rallied around her and prayed that she would outgrow this and that it was part of the normal teenage angst. One breath at a time is how you get through it. If the thoughts continue, seek help and support. I had been in so much emotional pain. He was at our house for Mothers Day & then left for USC/Keck Medical school. I just miss my brother. Its awful God I ask why all day everyday. Whos dead? He began to learn to drive and expressed a wish to go back to finish school via a correspondence course. Nobody wants to hear that descriptive phrase. Its a lonely existence because I think friends avoid me so we dont have to talk about it or they don t know what to say. I tried to commit suicide more than once, twice while he was alive and three times since then. The best that could be done was hope there was no suffering or struggle during his last day. At 2 am on June 12th, my boyfriends phone rang. Is my family right? I woke at around 7 and seen it, thought to myself this was out of character and then seen the heart he posted on facebook. He had reached the edge of the woods by the time I caught up with him. My girlfriend took her life 12/30/18. What? Is all I could think to say. This is common when you are mourning. WTH??? I have recently lost my adult sibling to suicide. She died in the middle of my finals week. The hospital had prescribed lithium and this treatment was extremely effective, until my friend found out she was pregnant. My 15 year old niece took her life a few weeks ago. We lost our son and the amount of support has been nil. Im not angry with my brother at all and Im not sure I will ever be. I couldnt deal with the emotions as a result of this disease and had to file for separation. To Liz (from post of 10 December 2018), you will see your brother again, of this I am sure. He was a brilliant artist with a strong intellect, warm, charming, and witty. Friday, no changes. Barbara J. I still feel like its my fault, i should have done something, i dont know what or how. (1983). His death feels like a statement, the final I Dont Care in a long string of I dont cares. Jacob was essentially the foundation of my growth. We spoke almost daily We thought he was beginning a new life. He was so smart and was the only one i could have the wierd talks. I know if I would have been with him at the time it would never had happened. Remember that people dont decide to take their own lives in their right mind, something must have messed him up really badly. I was the sole provider the five years she was in maternity leave and when I point that out she says what about before they were born when you were out of work and I carried you. Hugs to you this Holiday Season. then eight months and four days later, December 18, 2008 my little brother died from asperating. His ex-fianc tormented him and stalked him and sent him a sms telling him to do everyone a favour and kill himself. Frank, I am so sorry for your losses. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. My brother shot himself in the head with a shotgun in his backyard 3 weeks ago. I am heartbroken. Its so hard because I want to be thinking about our memories and time together and I want to be able to grieve but I feel like I cant because of the ptsd every time I think of him everything is clouded by horrible images. I often wonder what I did wrong and why so many others have great support from them. Its the Medical schools dirty little secret. Its a shit feeling falling into the what could I have done different and Im to blame game. I just feel so lost, confused, hurt, and sad, I just found out two days ago that my sweet sweet brother hanged himself. Silence is generally the response that survivors receive from well meaning family and friends who dont know what to say so they say nothing. Funding cuts to mental health services have done a great disservice to those who seek help before the act. And he said unto them, In what place soever ye enter into an house, there abide till ye . Kim Patterson February 14, 2019 at 12:12 pm Reply. I have reached out to a counselor I know I need help. I was praying for a miracle but its been 8 days. Once cops got there I took the blame but the neighbor yelled and insisted he had saw my brother driving and he had left. "Michael killed himself," Rebecca guessed, bracing herself. She was very smart and had aspirations of becoming a teacher or nurse. When I think of how cruel this life is, I am without words. I cant overcome my guiltthe missing, and wanting, and wishing for a different outcome never leave. My younger brothers son is three. Three days later, Tyler Clementi, a gay student at Rutgers University-New Brunswick, killed himself after being recorded on a webcam kissing another man. Cyndi Fern January 21, 2021 at 11:38 am Reply. So its common to ask questions like What if?, Why?, and Whats the point?. She was one of my closest friends, and I didnt know until almost a year after. He had told me for years (after seeing both our parents suffer horribly from cancer) that if he ever got cancer he would shoot himself. I know it sounds bad, but I am 41 years old, and have the rest of my life to continue living. A piece of all of us died along with him. On April 8th the love of my life took her life almost right in front of me. He came into the room shortly after texting everyone and did it. I love him so much and I just hope this blur of emotions will turn into strength. I have felt alone in my grief, but funnily enough I met my boyfriend recently and discovered that he also lost his mother to suicide. I had recentlylearned that my best friend had just hung herself. I stayed in, thinking its just a party, things will be fine, But in the middle of the night.. In this article, this quote definitely stood out to me: Once they had acknowledged the inevitability of suicide they were able to weave this possibility, unwelcome as it was, into their life story to develop a coherent explanation..